Give us a call at 1-800-I<3-BOOB (but not really)

Lola

Friend of The Boob

Lola is not actually a boob. She’s a very smart and very funny internet friend of The Boob.[1]

She coined the phrase, “Any cleanse that doesn’t include vodka can go to hell.” Do I want to wear that on a t-shirt? Yes I do.

During the day she plays cello and at night she’s a spy.[2]

Doesn’t she look pretty in her photo? [3]

I will be mentioning and probably quoting Lola a bit in this blog, but what would be even better is if we could get her to post here. She really is quite hilarious. I had her review this page and she asked me to strike the word hilarious and change it to “somewhat amusing on occasion, if I’ve been up drinking all night” so if she ever does write anything for this blog, “people will know to read it while they’re sleep-deprived and drunk.” She’s trying to keep reader’s expectations low for if/when she decides to write a guest article here, which is total bullshit because she’s effortlessly, side-splittingly hysterical.

Whatever Lola, we get it, you’re boring. Now write us something funny!

Maybe if y’all started a “We want Lola” campaign in the comments, you can get her to start posting.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] An internet friend is a person you meet online, but have never met face to face.

[2] I’m only repeating what she told me. We might all be getting catfished.

[3] Again, possibly being catfished.