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I love Star Trek, but I’m not weird about it

By Karen McBoob on September 30, 2015 in Blog, Humor
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So I was over on one of my favorite blogs today: Always-Drunk and Chuck Baudelaire was talking about being in the process of moving and getting new (faster) internet at her new digs. (Please go check out her site. She’s hilarious.)

Her latest post reminded me of our first house, where we had AOL dial-up. Yep. We’re old. I’m only a few years away from wearing printed house dresses and grannie panties. And I already know it’s just a matter of time before I’m saying, “Eh?” a lot, just like my Scottish grandmother, followed by, “Oy, why do these kids talk so fast? Always rushing,” just like my Jewish grandmother, when referring to anyone under forty.

Anyhoo, the first few years we lived in our current home, we had satellite (horrible, shitty, slow satellite) for both internet and TV. No cable or fiber optic was available. We’re not in actual bumsfuck, but we are bumsfuck-adjacent. We’re about a forty-five minute car ride away from getting stuck behind horses pulling buggies and being able to score some coke off an Amish guy. #NotEvenLying

So when fiber-optic cable and blazing fast internet speed finally came to our neighborhood, you’da thunk we’d died and gone to how-did-we-ever-truly-live-before-we-got-fast-internet heaven. My husband and I should probably just make a suicide pact right now—if we ever have to go back to dial-up, we commit hari-kari. Only is it still considered suicide or hari-kari if you kill someone else? Because we’d be killing the realtor who sold us a place that had shitty internet.

Chuck also had some Star Trek references on her blog post, and I’m really hoping she is a Star Trek fan. I wouldn’t call myself a Trekkie, as I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a Klingon costume at a convention, regardless of how sexy they are, but I could see myself buying a Star Trek soundboard app for my iPad. (Because I did buy a Star Trek soundboard app for my iPad. In case you’re on the fence about buying this, it wasn’t worth it. Just added a few bells and whistles to the tablet. Literally.)

Pretty hawt for a Klingon.

Example of a hawt Klingon grandma.

Picture from: http://costumefail.com/category/star-trek/klingons/

Today, we’ve got super fast internet. And with my super fast internet, it took me all of thirty seconds to google that Klingon costume pic. I’m so fuckin’ productive now that I can’t stand myself. I’m gonna Netflix the shit out of this afternoon, because I can.

Live long and go read Always-drunk.com.

About the Author

Karen McBoobView all posts by Karen McBoob

8 Comments

  1. Christopher October 1, 2015 Reply

    It’s hard to explain how happy two of my favorite blogs coming together makes me. I feel like yelling “Worlds are colliding!” like George Costanza, but in this case it’s a good thing.
    Jason Alexander does the best and funniest impersonation of William Shatner ever, by the way, and is also a Star Trek fan, which just goes to show how everything is interconnected and it all leads back to Star Trek.
    I’m probably going to out myself as a Trekkie, but not an extreme one. I’ve never been to a convention even when there’s been one nearby. However I did once go to work dressed as an Andorian. It was Halloween but I think just knowing what an Andorian is makes you a Trekkie, but I’m not weird about it or anything. I would never pay for a Star Trek soundboard app, although I would probably pay for a Ferengi costume.
    Yeah, I’m still gonna pretend I’m not weird about it.

    • Author
      Karen McBoob October 1, 2015 Reply

      LOL Christopher! I think we all pretend we’re not weird about it. We should probably just come out of the shuttlecraft already. Whether you prefer Vulcan ears, a Bajoran nose, or fish eyes, it doesn’t matter who you love and I support your right to interspecies marriage.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMxuEnZavMg

  2. Jay October 2, 2015 Reply

    I love this post and aggravated my back from laughing, but I do have to make this one correction:
    YOU don’t decide if you’re weird about it; WE do.

    • Author
      Karen McBoob October 2, 2015 Reply

      Don’t judge me. ~ said everyone who ever said anything embarrassing on the internet.

      I hope your back is okay Jay.

      Shit. Now I’m thinking I may need a disclaimer. “Any injury sustained while reading this site due to excessive laughter and/or outrage are the responsibility of the reader because it was their own goddamned fault for reading this crap in the first place. The author does not accept liability for any such injuries as a result of this stupidity.”

      • Jay October 8, 2015 Reply

        Like you won’t even do me a solid and rub some ointment on it?

        • Author
          Karen McBoob October 9, 2015 Reply

          Sure. Dinner and a movie first?

  3. Chuck Baudelaire October 13, 2015 Reply

    ACK! I just now saw this post because I’m an asshole. I love you. And of course I’m a huge Star Trek fan. Nanu-nanu, may the force be with you.

  4. Gilly Maddison October 21, 2015 Reply

    Never mind Jay’s back – I just pissed myself. Are you gonna pay for my dry cleaning?

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