I will NEVER SELL or give your email to any other person or entity. Read on for more details.
If you’d like to be notified by email when there’s a new article posted here, please use the form above. Your email will NEVER be given to any other person or entity, for any reason, ever. Okay, unless I’m being held at gunpoint by that ShamWow guy, [see footnote 1] and in exchange for my life, he wants all your emails so he can spam you with his other “Sham” products.” [see footnote 2] It would be a tragic Sophie’s Choice kinda’ moment for me, but I’m not gonna’ lie … I’d probably give up my email list. Short of that … I will not share your information, period. If you come to my house I’ll pinky swear, too.[see footnote 3]
Footnotes: Did he un-ironically use the word “Sham” when naming his magic towel? Cuz if so, we have no one but ourselves to blame for not realizing he was a dick.  Other ShamWow products might include the ShamHolyShit. You’ll never go back to regular toilet paper again. (Like the original ShamWow, it also holds twenty times it’s weight in liquid!)  Please don’t come to my house.